Family Affairs
by Camy-Tay
Summary: rated M for my first lemon. Sasuke comes back and thinks Sakura's a whore, the elders get punished, and Sasuke gets laid after proposing. It's just a family affair.
1. Family Night

_Front-flip, double back-kick, upside-down roundhouse, right hook, left hook, three jabs, uppercut to the gut, flip back._

Sakura knew the routine well. She had been doing every day for training.

Naruto would always complain that she beat his shadow clones too fast, and she would argue that she was just efficient. This normally ended with her beating him into the ground and walking away as Kakashi sighed over the top of his _Icha Icha Paradisu: Yoru ni_.

She had to sigh at the mundane way her day went. At seventeen, this was a bit of a disgrace. She would rather have her hours at the hospital back, but Tsunade refused to, saying the young kunoichi worked too much when she had hospital hours, sometimes not sleeping for days straight.

Was it her fault she enjoyed being close to her mother and cousin, and did not enjoy being close to her father's idiots.

The day Sakura became in ANBU at the age of sixteen, the Harunos took her to the side and told her that they adopted her, and her real parents were Tsunade and Jaraiya. Tsunade and Jiraiya wanted Sakura to come live with them again, now that they were married.

_"We're sorry, sweetie," _she heard a hundred times. _"We couldn't tell you before."_

Sakura rolled her eyes as she climbed a tree to relax for another hour or so before lunch with Naruto at Ichiraku's.

_"Sakura, can you forgive us? We only wanted you to be happy. We wanted to see you grow up with a real family. One that loved you and gave you their undivided attention."_

And she was happy, albeit a little annoyed at the bullshit, because out of all the people that could've been her birth-parents, she would want it to be the perv and the godaime that helped raise her to be the kunoichi she was.

But things were different. Sasuke would be coming back to their team tomorrow. He was in critical condition and the Elders were no more. Those that survived or ran were quickly rounded up by the ANBU and were being held for questioning and punishment.

Tsunade had told Sakura when she came home the day before that Sasuke had been improving dramatically and would be in condition to start training and re-entering the team. She warned Sakura not to get hung up on him, and to enjoy whatever time she may have with her teammates as _teammates only_.

Sakura laughed in her tree as she thought of what that might mean. As if Sasuke would make a move at her. And Naruto was more of a brother than anything.

In fact, he was her godbrother. Jiraiya had taken the responsibility from his parents, though Jiraiya had gone missing in the mountains for a long time.

The kunoichi started to hum and soon lulled herself to sleep. After what seemed like five minutes she was being poked on the shoulder and she sighed as she swatted away the hand. "Not now, Naruto."

Silence.

"If I wanted to kill you, you'd have died without a fight," an apathetic voice replied.

Sakura's eyes shot up. "Sasuke-kun? Aren't you still at the hospital? Okaasan said you weren't being released until tomorrow."

He smirked at the fact she still used the -kun, _his _-kun, and shrugged stiffly. He would never tell her why he smirked, or that he was still hurt. "I was under the impression since I got here I would be released today. Tomorrow I will join the team again."

She smiled. "Like the good times," she said softly.

He rolled his eyes as the smirk disappeared. He got down from the tree and started to walk off. Sasuke heard Sakura land next to him in her soft, feminine steps and he kept moving. How could he make the kunoichi go away?

"So, what are you doing later?" she asked, wondering if she could talk him into having dinner with the team and their families, as they did once a week since Naruto was an ANBU at fifteen.

"Why?" he asked, apathetic to cover his disappointment. He thought by now Sakura stopped liking him. It was annoying and a hindrance to the team. Besides, he didn't like her.

"Do you want to come over?" she asked. "I'm making tomato soup with pasta and fresh tomato and basil sauce. It's like the only thing I'm good at besides instant ramen. And Hinata and I decided it was best to keep Naruto far away from it."

She smiled and laughed at the memory of the first night they had a Family Night. Naruto whined for hours that Tsunade had made some kind of meat and no ramen for him. The meal was very good, and even Naruto could reluctantly admit it.

Ever since, everyone would make something other than ramen, except for Naruto.

He forced them all to eat ramen on his night.

"Tempting, but no," he replied, walking away. Did she know he liked tomato? That was so unfair, to use his love of the red fruit to lure him into a date.

Sakura was crestfallen, but she would give up. It wasn't like she had never been rejected before, especially from her stoic teammate. "All right," she told him, shrugging.

She stopped and he did too, a few feet ahead of her. He could hear how hurt she was, but Sasuke couldn't understand why he felt bad she was hurt. It wasn't like he even liked the girl. She was a no-name brat that never did anything but cry and annoy him.

He turned to see her smile softly. "It's good to see you back, Sasuke-kun," she told him, earnest. "If you change your mind and you want some company later, don't hesitate to stop by Jiraiya's house. We'd love to see you."

She walked away and Sasuke's pride refused to let him go after her and ask why she was with Jiraiya, why she was asking him out if she was seeing...why she was seeing the hokage's husband. Maybe it was a threesome.

Or she was a research model for Jiraiya, and he was supposed to star in his next novel with Sakura.

But he was too smart for that. He would never let them use him, hurt him. He hadn't faced all the demons in the world just to fall to this one.

* * *

"_What's a crush to do?_" Sakura sang as she walked to the training field. She had just been listening to a band Temari told her about, and now she had the song stuck in her head. "_I've got birds in my ears and a devil on my shoulders._"

"Morning, Sakura!" Naruto replied. "You sound happy today."

"I am," she replied, smiling. She smiled at Sasuke. "Good morning, Sasuke-kun," she greeted, tilting her head and smiling softly as she looked at him. "Still brooding, huh? You should've stopped by last night. Sai and Yamato wanted to meet you."

"Who?" he asked, glaring.

So she was a whore now. And she still had a huge crush on him. A pity. She would've made a pretty wife. he would've asked her, too. He was the most comfortable with her out of all the females in Konoha.

And he would _not_ ask Karin if his life and the future of the Uchiha depended on it.

Naruto filled in the gaps. "The guy that replaced you and the guy that led us when we invaded the Sound base a few years ago. Sakura and Sai are really close, 'cause she saved his life."

Sakura snorted. "Yeah, real grateful, too," she commented. "Can you believe he still won't stop calling me a hag?"

"I know. But he's been calling you a hag since you were little. How did you even know Sai as a kid? He randomly whipped out a photo album last night."

_Last night_, Sasuke thought. So naruto was there too. What the hell was Jiraiya trying to write about? An orgy?

She smiled softly. "You saw the pictures. We were friends through the Sand Siblings. I remember the day Sai went missing. Tema-chan wouldn't stop crying, and Gaara tried ordering a whole search party for him...Me and Kanku-chan knocked out in the corner. We didn't really care much."

Naruto laughed and sat on a tree branch. "Did you ever tell Sai?"

"Why do you think he calls me names?" she replied, sitting in another tree. "Kanku-chan and I knew he'd be okay, no matter where he was. It should've been a _compliment_ to him that we weren't worried."

Sasuke sighed and looked around for the sensei. He couldn't stand anymore talk about how long Sakura had been a whore.

Since she was a child? And with the Sand Siblings?

"Kakashi, you're late," Sakura replied dully, lying back in the tree before she swung upside-down on the branch. "Did you leave Anko's panties at my house?" she asked, guilelessly.

Kakashi blushed and put _Icha Icha Paradisu: Watashi to issho ni kite kudasai_ down. "Did Jiraiya give them to you to give back to me?" he asked, ashamed.

"Nope. He said that you had to go by later and pick them up so he could ask you something about his new book," she replied, flipping down off the tree. "I think Tousan wants you to read it before he publishes it. By the way, don't procreate in _my_ room."

"But yours is the only one without cameras set up to watch the sex," Kakashi told her. "And you know how jittery Anko gets when we're on film."

Sasuke's eyes grew wide. Sakura had sex with _Anko_? And someone _taped_ it?

"Ya think? I thought she'd slit my throat for recording the wedding, and you guys weren't even _kissing_," Sakura replied. "Just leave my room alone, or eventually Tousan _will_ put cameras in, and I'll have to kill you because _ew_. My dad watching me change and shower just because he wants to watch you and Anko have sex?" she said, shaking her head disturbed. "I think you can leave each other alone once a week for me."

Kakashi looked at her and sighed. "Fine. For the sake of my goddaughter one day being able to have sex without the worry of being taped."

Sasuke consciously made an effort to stop his jaw from dropping. Sakura was Kakashi's goddaughter? And a virgin? Then Sasuke realized Sakura had been calling Jiraiya her father, and how the day before she called Tsunade her mother.

Was it possible he was wrong? About everything?

"Okay," Kakashi said, picking the book back up. "Since Naruto has a date, Sakura go practice with Sasuke for a while. First to take down all the other's clones, wins and doesn't have to host next week's Family Night."

"Family Night?" Sasuke asked Sakura when they went off on their own far away on the training field. "What's that?"

She laughed. "It's what I invited you to last night," she replied. "The whole team gets together and brings their family, and we pig out, and watch movies, and Kakashi and Anko have sex somewhere, and Naruto tries to deny there's food in the world besides ramen, and Hina-chan and I laugh over whatever happened in the hospital or what Ino and Shika-san did or Ten-chan and Neji-san were up to when she left. It's a ton of fun."

They both erected twenty-five clones and Sasuke asked her another question. "Why did you invite me to Jiraiya's house, then?"

"Because you would've shown up at the Haruno house if you did decide you wanted to come, and they'd be over at Jiraiya's, too." She gave him a look. "You do know Jiraiya's my dad, right? And Tsunade's my mom?"

He shrugged. "I figured that. But why would the Haruno be there?"

She laughed. "They're my aunt and uncle. Tsunade asked her sister to watch me as I grew up. Ichigo couldn't have a child, so she accepted without a hesitation." She looked at the clones. "Are we going to train or what?"

Sasuke smirked and they started.

Sakura did not have quite the same routine fighting Sasuke's clones as she did with Naruto's, and she was glad. But when she went to punch through one of them, she was shocked it was actually Sasuke.

He ducked the blow and came up to kiss her. She froze and suddenly a popping noise around her made her break away to see her lack of concentration destroyed all her clones. She gasped and growled, and Sasuke laughed.

"That's cheating," she told him.

"That's winning. So I guess next week you're stuck hosting Family Night," he replied.

Was it just Sakura, or was Sasuke smiling and..._happy_? That was so out of character for an emo kid. Someone spiked _his_ pumpkin-juice. He started to walk away, then looked over him shoulder as if he remembered a last minute detail.

"By the way, I'm coming next week, so make something with tomatoes, okay?"

"Yeah, you bet," she replied, smiling.

* * *

"Dude, this isn't fun!" Naruto whined, looking at his plate. "Where is my ramen? I paid you off to give me ramen this week, Sakura!"

She smiled. "You promised you would keep silent for a week, Naruto. You broke that promise about two minutes later asking me if I was going to get you ramen."

He pouted and Jiraiya laughed as he punched his godson playfully. Tsunade and Sakura smiled at each other, knowing how close the two men were. Naruto even had a room in the house, that Hinata was never told was bugged, at her boyfriend's pleading request.

Sakura took a seat next to her new boyfriend and Jiraiya gave the boy as impressive a glare as one that Sasuke could give. Sasuke merely shrugged before he hugged and thanked Sakura for the meal.

Tsunade and Shizune cooed, and the Harunos smiled at Sakura's luckiness. Jiraiya snorted his disproval and started to talk to Kakashi about the newest _Icha Icha Paradisu_ that he had in fact asked Kakashi to proof-read.

Sakura laughed and smiled at Sasuke.

He wasn't sure he wanted to come, even after his request the week before, but he was glad he did. Glad that Sakura talked him into it. Because she was right. This was his family now too.


	2. Family Issues

"But why do I have to have everyone over?" Sasuke asked, no expression on his face.

"You're the only one that hasn't had anyone at your house yet," Sakura said matter-of-factly as she sat down with him and Naruto to lunch. "And this week is your turn."

"How about I take everyone out to dinner?"

"No. That's cheating. Everyone else makes dinner."

"But I don't want to."

She shrugged. "Too bad. I guess I don't want to be a med-nin," she said.

Before Sasuke could ask why she would say that, she punched him and sent him flying into a wall. He groaned as he felt three ribs move, his shoulder popped out of the socket, and his collarbone felt like it snapped.

"Sakura, heal me now," he told her.

"Sorry. I don't want to be a med-nin. I guess you'll just have to suffer," she replied with a shrug and a smirk. "When you decide to have everyone over your house this week, I'll decide I want to be a med-nin again, okay?" she said.

Naruto looked at Sakura as she got up to leave. "Where are you going?" he asked.

"Hospital. I have to tell Shizu-chan that no one can heal Sasuke-kun. And then I have to stop by Okaasan's office and figure out my detail for the week. I'll talk to you later," she told him, shrugging.

She walked over to Sasuke and kissed him on his forehead. "Bye, Sasuke-kun. I'll see you later. At the Elder's trial tomorrow. Okay? Bye," she said, walking out with a hop in her step and humming.

After a few minutes, Sasuke stopped glaring on the floor and moved up to the seat he had been in before Sakura punched him. He glared at the table and Naruto smirked to himself as he ate his ramen.

Things had gotten fun since Sasuke started to date Sakura. It was amazing two months had gone by. Sasuke treated Sakura like a goddess in his way of showing attention. They bickered occasionally, though when they did they caused massive scenes.

Today was one of those days.

"Dude, you know she's got you whipped," Naruto said with a smirk.

All he received in reply was a black-eye Sakura refused to heal, saying he deserved it. "But all I did was provoke teme!" he whined.

"No, Naruto," the couple replied in unison as they sat on Sasuke's couch.

He huffed and sat down on the bed. "Teme," he muttered.

* * *

"We the people of Konoha find the defendants guilty of treason against the Uchiha and ultimately the genocide of the Uchiha family," the chairman of the jury said, glaring at his former-leaders.

Sakura smiled and squeezed Sasuke's hand reassuringly as Tsunade gave the punishment. Tsunade liked Sasuke. The punishment would be good. "See? Everything turned out fine," she whispered to him.

"Yeah, except my bones," he replied, glaring at her half-heartedly.

She shrugged and smirked. "Have Family Night this week."

As the fifth hokage, it was Tsunade's job to punish the Elders for the genocide of the Uchiha, which left Konoha with only one Uchiha left. As a mother, she had the power to harm the people that scarred her daughter's boyfriend for life, and made him an asshole to her for years.

The Elders knew it too. They feared her vote, and Tsunade smiled at sweet revenge.

"I, Tsunade, as the fifth hokage of Konoha, sentence the defendants to death," she replied, getting a thumb's up from her daughter in the first row. She rolled her eyes and bit back a smile.

Way to make a judge-like figure feel embarrassed.

* * *

"Sasuke, I was told--"

"Yeah, I know."

"Sasuke, you're not supposed to--"

"Yeah, I know."

"Sasuke-kun, what are you--"

"Yes, I know I'm not supposed to be at training right now," he yelled, annoyed by all his teammates badgering him.

Sakura rolled her eyes. "I knew that. You're not incompetent, you would remember. Besides, I can take a hint when you tell Kakashi-sensei and Naruto off. My question is why are you here?"

He glared at her and sat down on a rock with a scowl. And he almost gave in to her demands. Like that would ever really happen. Sakura was way too annoying to let that happen.

She would never let him just surrender.

The past two days had been painful. He had never had to go an extended period of time with broken or bruised bones and they were painful to him now. He almost bent to Sakura, just to make the pain go away.

It was excruciating to get up and move around, and he wasn't allowed to train while they were broken.

He watched as Sakura sparred with Naruto for five minutes, destroyed him, and sat down next to him in the grass while Naruto cursed that she beat him. After five minutes of cursing, he demanded a rematch that Sakura quickly won again and lay down next to Sasuke to sleep.

It had become a routine for them, and Sasuke enjoyed it. He always knew what would happen and when it would happen. No guesswork, no anticipating an attack, just routine.

Like the fact Sakura was peacefully asleep next to him in ten minutes.

"Good night, Sakura," he whispered, smiling.

She moaned her response, half-asleep already.

Sasuke knew how much work she had been doing lately. Tsunade had taken her off the table at the hospital for a while, but now Sakura was back on it from two to ten-thirty, though most days she could be found there well after midnight.

"Just a little longer," Sakura moaned in her sleep.

This was not new either. He had known she talked in her sleep since their gennin days. Still, this was a twist to her average medical dreams.

"You have to take off your shirt," she murmured, making Sasuke turn and stare at her. "Ah-huh...So big." She turned sides. "It'll fit. It always does, Sasuke-kun."

Damn. Oh, damn. She wasn't, was she? Oh damn, she was.

"...lollipop later," she said, making Sasuke go hard. "I like how you look...so good." She moaned a little and turned again. "…come on, baby. Just a little more, Sasuke-kun...Right there...so good."

He sighed. He knew he'd do it. Why did Sakura always have to win in the end? He had a feeling she'd never do that with the real him until he finally had everyone over his house.

"Kakashi, Naruto?" He sighed when he got their attention. "Family Night's at my house tomorrow. Tell Sai and Yamato. I'm going to tell Sakura when she wakes up later, okay?"

"Finally!" Naruto yelled. "Training's over today, Kakaashi! You tell Yamato, I'll tell Sai. See you later, Sasuke!"

"Still the Number One Hyperactive Ninja, huh?" Sasuke asked Kakashi.

He sighed. "Yup."

* * *

"Hey, Sasuke-kun," Sakura greeted, yawning as she woke up. "I had the weirdest dream," she told him through the yawn.

_Weird_? She was calling a sex-dream starring him _weird_? He'd have to let that pass. "Well, I have some good news," he told her, smiling to himself.

"Oh. So it was a premonition," she murmured. "Go on."

He sighed. "I'll have Family Night tomorrow," he muttered.

"What?"

"I said, I'll have Family Night," he said louder, clearer.

"Good. Then I can finally do this for you."

* * *

Sasuke sighed and glared at the table as Sakura put all the food he prepared down on it. She smiled at him and kissed him lightly on his scowl. He glared as Naruto laughed at him and glared harder when Naruto doubled over laughing at the glare Jiraiya was sending to the Uchiha.

"I know you read my books," he accused, stabbing the steak.

"Prove it," Sasuke glared.

Jiraiya really hated the idea of the last Uchiha dating his daughter. After two months he thought he'd be used to it.

Both Tsunade and Sakura slapped their significant other as they sat down next to them. "Behave," they warned in unison and Naruto started laughing again.

"Like mother like daughter," Hinata said, shrugging apologetically to Sakura. Then she turned back to Naruto and looked confusedly back to Sakura. "Where do you think Naruto got his humor from?"

"His father," Jaraiya and Tsunade replied. "The Fourth used to draw mustaches and clown faces on the Hokage Mountains."

Sasuke shook his head and ate in silence.

When the dinner was over, Jiraiya glared at Sasuke and tried to yank Sakura away from Sasuke. She rolled her eyes and excused herself to help Sasuke with the dishes.

"Hey."

Silence.

"Are you still mad?" she asked as she picked up some dishes and a sponge to clean them with.

"Yes...No. I was never mad, just disappointed."

"That I _healed _you instead of had _sex_ with you?" she asked, eyes dancing with laughter.

"Yep." He dried some plates and put them away, sighing. "I'd rather have the sex. It sounded like sex in your dream."

She laughed at how dumb her boyfriend was. "Do you want me to break some of your bones again and give you the options?" she asked.

Suddenly he realized what she would do to him and he didn't need anymore of the pain. "Nope. thanks, but I'm good," he replied.

Sakura stopped him and turned him towards her to kiss him hard. "Good. Because I bet it's really hard to have sex when you have broken bones."

He gaped and Jiraiya walked in, glaring at Sasuke and he yanked Sakura out of the kitchen. She rolled her eyes and mouthed a countdown from ten. Sasuke didn't understand, but he kept his face indifferent.

"No sex with my daughter. And no kissing her, either!" he yelled, glaring at Sasuke over his shoulder and banging into a wall for the effort.

Just as he did, Sakura reached one.

Sasuke and Sakura snickered then burst out laughing. Jiraiya glared at them both for a moment before Tsunade found him and pulled him away. "Just be good," Tsunade warned them before she left.

Sakura smiled at Sasuke. "So, was having Family Night really that bad?"

"Nope. I kind of liked it," he replied, smiling as he kissed her.


	3. A Family Moment

"I don't get this," Sasuke complained as he got dragged by Sakura through Konoha. Most of the time Sakura was dragging him around. "I've gone to family nights, I've had family nights, what is the difference between family nights and family dinners?"

Sakura sighed. "A family _dinner_ is sophisticated and just me, Kaasan and Tousan. No Naruto, no Kakashi, no Sai. Well, maybe Naruto and Hinata, but that's besides the point." Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Family _night_ is when everyone gets together and harasses each other one night of the week and Kakashi and Anko have crazy rabbit sex in my room. And now gave Tousan a reason to put cameras in my room. Stupid Anko."

Sasuke huffed. He and Sakura had been going out for several months. The first few had been very interesting, when he was reluctant to admit he had a family, and when he sometimes tried to pawn them off.

Now things were getting serious. He had been hinting heavily to Sakura about getting married, but in her naive little way of doing things, she didn't seem to understand him. And now she was taking him to a family dinner.

With her family.

Including her father, Jiraiya. Whom still had not warmed up to Sasuke. And hated him in general, for dating his daughter. And just seemed to want to give Sasuke hell for being born.

When Sasuke brought up the point Jiraiya hated him, Sakura laughed it off. Now as the months grew on, she tried everything in her power to get them on happy-terms with each other. She was failing miserably.

"So, do you want to come over later?" Sasuke asked.

"You mean after the dinner?" she asked, turning to him and letting up her chakra-infused grip. Sakura never actually hurt him or ever really took away his control, but she loved to drag him places and sometimes she physically had to do so.

Like today.

She wanted to visit her father at his store. Sasuke had not. Sakura had won.

"Yeah. I mean, if your dad will let you," he said.

Sakura laughed. "Of course not. I'll sneak out when he goes up to bed. He and Tsunade won't even know I'm gone. They're worse than Kakashi and Anko. The first week I lived with them I'd sneak out and go sleep at Naruto's house with Hinata."

"In the same bed as them?" he asked, smirking. "That'd be pretty hot."

"Perv. No, Hinata and I had sleepovers in the front room and watched TV until two in the morning, eating ice-cream and screaming random shit at the TV...I miss that. It was fun."

"I don't," Naruto replied, popping out of nowhere. "The only reason my girlfriend came to my house to sleepover was for _you_. I can't believe that. It's so dumb! I wasn't even allowed in the same room as them until after ten. In the morning. I'd wake up at six and be stuck in my room. There was nothing entertaining to do and my girlfriend was in the next room."

Sakura smiled. "At least next month she'll be living in your house permanently. Are you excited?"

On White Day three months ago, Naruto proposed to Hinata. They were getting married in three weeks. Sakura was Hinata's Maid of Honor, while Ino, TenTen, Temari and her sister Hanabi were bridemaids.

Naruto had yet to pick out a Best Man. He already demoted Neji, Shikamaru, Gaara, Kankuro, and Chouji to ushers, and Hinata was finding it hard to get bridesmaids to go with every usher.

Sakura and Sasuke had a bet to see how long it would be until Naruto got him into the wedding. Sakura knew, the second Naruto demoted Neji, eventually the title of Best Man would go to Sasuke.

He prayed it didn't.

"Stressed," he replied, thinking. "I can't have anymore ushers, and I need to find a Best Man. And Hinata wants to know who'll be the flower girls, and the ring bearer and who's coming and what kind of flowers should we have, and if I like food the caterer is making and it isn't ramen, and who should sit where at the reception, and--"

Sasuke's eyes bugged out and Naruto leaned in extremely close to him, grabbing his shirt and making a deranged face. "Sasuke, I'm going crazy. Elope with Sakura and save yourself. Save yourself!"

Sakura sighed and checked her nails. "Are you done yet? I have business to get to with Sasuk-kun."

"Yeah, sure, whatever," Naruto replied, calming down and shrugging before he turned to Sakura. "You two really should think of eloping, though. Hinata and I can be your witnesses. Especially since your dad hates Sasuke."

They laughed hollowly, knowing it was true, and Sakura waved. "I'll talk to you later, Naruto. Maybe you and Hinata should be the ones thinking about eloping, though."

The couple now walked through Konoha, strolling and holding hands. Sasuke had been opening up since he came back and the Elders were killed for what they had down to the Uchiha. He even kissed Sakura in public sometimes, though he'd always be brief and try to cover it up later.

"So, what are we doing at your house?" Sakura asked absently as she swung their arms lightly between them. "In case I can get Kaasan to give me permission to go. Tousan might pout, but Kaasan could do it."

Sasuke shrugged. "Watch some movies, eat some ice-cream, shout random things at the TV until three in the morning."

Sakura laughed and nudged Sasuke. "You can't steal Hinata and my sleepovers. I think they'd figure something out."

"I'm not stealing your ideas. I said movie until three. You said TV until two."

Sakura laughed and kissed Sasuke again, patting his abs and walking away. "Come on, you dork. Let's go see my pervy old dad."

* * *

"Sasuke, would you pass the rice?" Tsunade asked.

Sasuke passed it and fought the urge to roll his eyes at Jiraiya's glare. Was it his fault Sakura made him go to the sex shop? Did _he_ buy the dildo and vibrator and cockring from him? Did _he_ pick out lingerie and outfits to wear?

He didn't think so. And he and Sakura weren't even having sex. What the hell? Why was his girlfriend picking out sex toys? He should be more mad than her dad.

"So, Kaasan?" Sakura asked. "Can I go over Sasuke's later? We were going to watch movies," she said.

"Like what? Porn?" Jiraiya snapped. "No."

"Tousan!" she yelled. "I just bought the stuff to _annoy_ you. _Nothing_ is going on between Sasuke and me!"

Jiraiya glared at Sasuke, the looked suspiciously at Sakura. Tsunade sighed and looked at her daughter. "What did you even _buy_?" she asked.

"Not sure. They looked pretty, though. There was this lime green, stick-thing and a hot pink octopus that would vibrate--someone told me it's for back massages--and this bright blue thing that looked like a bracelet. Oh and some really cute outfits like the stuff in Ino's closet."

Sasuke slammed his head on the table and Tsuande snickered at her daughter's explanations to sex toys. Jiraiya looked horror-stricken, and Sakura just looked innocent. She told Tsunade how Sasuke kept telliing her not to buy the stuff, but she thought it was cute. Then she asked what she had done wrong that pissed Jiraiya off, and Tsunade started to laugh.

"Nothing, sweetie," she said, valiantly trying to stop laughing. "Go ahead over Sasuke's later...Just...give me everything you bought today. You're not keeping it, okay?"

"No problem." Then she squirmed in her seat for a second. "Can I at least keep the octopus? It was so cute! It even has a face on the side with a giant smiley face. Please?"

"Sakura--" Jiraiya started.

Tsunade laughed. "Of course honey. Now help me clear dinner so we can get out dessert."

When the women left to get dessert, Jiraiya glared at Sasuke. "You're still not off the hook, kid," he said.

"Whatever. I still didn't do anything," he said, crossing his arms over his chest.

Sakura came back in, smiling with cake. She cut Jiraiya a piece and handed it to him as Tsunade came out with caramel ice-cream and gave him a scoop on the side. "Sakura just made the cake today. Warm cake is always best with ice-cream. Caramel cake is best with caramel ice-cream."

"But I don't like cara--" Jiraiya started.

"Chichi, you don't like it?" Sakura asked, making a puppy-dog face at him. "But I worked so hard on it. I thought you'd like it because I made it."

Jiraiya sighed and started to eat, muttering something about a spoiled daughter with her mother's adorable pleading face as he did so. Sakura rolled her eyes as she cut a piece for Sasuke and Tsunade scooped him ice-cream.

"If you eat this, I'll give you a kiss," she told him, smirking.

"How about ten?" he asked.

"Two."

"Fine, but only if I can have half now," he said.

"Deal."

She set the plate down on the table and sat on his lap, giving him a kiss. Sasuke prolonged it as long as possible and then she got up and walked to the cake. He picked his up and ate it. He liked it, but he didn't really enjoy it.

After the women got up to put the dessert away, Sakura ran up to her room, telling Sasuke she just had to get ready before they went to his house. He took the time to talk to her parents, knowing she would take half an hour at least.

"Jiraiya-dono?" he asked.

Jiraiya and Tsunade stared at him, Tsunade with a smile and Jiraiya with a glare. When Tsundae saw this, she rolled her eyes and looked at Sasuke. "What is it?"

"May I...May I ask Sakura to marry me?" he asked, not knowing how he was supposed to phrase it. He knew from Naruto he had to ask the parents before he asked Sakura, but how did that work? "May I have her hand in marriage?"

"Yes." Tsunade.

"Never." Jiraiya.

The two looked at each other, then politely excused themselves for a minute. Sasuke heard some banging and thudding, then the two yelling "one, two, three" and Jiraiaya's whine when he lost. They came back out, Tsunade smiling triumphantly and Jiraiya glaring at the ground.

"You have our permission--"

"Grudgingly," Jiraiya added.

"To marry our daughter," Tsundae finished. "But know if you treat her wrong, I know torture techniques the likes of which you've never imagined."

Sasuke smiled, too afraid to even think of what she was talking about.

Not long after Sakura ran downstairs, grabbing Sasuke's hand. She changed her outfit from her work clothes to casual ones with a bag tied together with a giant knot and he smiled. "Come on, let's go," she told him, smiling. "Bye guys. See you later."

"Have fun," Tsunade replied.

"We will."

Was it just Sasuke, or did her words seem to hold something in them? Something that sounded...off?

* * *

"So, what movie do you want to watch?" Sasuke asked, opening a cabinet in his living room and revealing hundreds of DVDs.

"Actually, I already have one. Ino gave it to me. _Hot N Cold_. She said it was good, but I haven't seen it yet." She shrugged. "And...I brought the octopus," she said, smiling as she brought them out of the bag.

Sasuke gaped. Not only did she bring a vibrator to his house, she brought porn. What the hell? Really. Did she not understand that sex was a no-no? Her dad already wanted to castrate him. All he needed was to get a boner when she was at his house. She'd never understand it, and something bad would happen and he wouldn't be allowed to ask her to marry him after all.

"Are you coming or not?" she asked, bringing him back to the room.

She was already sitting on the couch, DVD popped in the system. Sakura held the remote, waiting to press play. He blushed as he sat down next to her. "Sakura, are you really this naïve? We're not kids anymore. You can't--"

She snorted. "Naïve? Are you kidding me? My parents are horny pervs. My father writes smut and sells everything from fake vaginas to vibrators that look like octopuses. I think I'm a little more understanding than that, Sasuke."

He looked shocked. "You knew all along that was a vibrator?"

"I'm guessing no one ever told you I used to want to be an actress," she replied. "I _like_ this kind of stuff. I mean, I don't have to touch myself or have sex to enjoy it. It's just something I've grown up around. And the vibrator? I still think it looks like a cute little octopus."

"Are you serious?" he asked.

"Yeah. When I was a little kid living with the Haruno? I found one in the master bedroom. When my 'kaasan' found out I took it she had to find some way to explain it. I've always just thought of it as the cute little octopus. It's entertaining to me. There's nothing sexual to me about it."

He sighed. He always knew there was something wrong with the girl he fell in love with.

"Well, before the porn starts--"

"That's really porn?" she asked. "Ino legit just gave it to me at the end of work today. We don't have to watch it if--"

"Will you marry me?" he asked, cutting her off.

"Yes," she replied, completely ignoring her previous topic.

He smiled and she mirrored it as he took out a ring and put it on her finger. He kissed her hard and sat down, picking her up and putting her on his lap before pressing the play button.

"Wow. It's not porn," Sakura commented, watching someone being tortured. She turned it off and sighed. "So, you want to go upstairs?" she asked.

"Why?" he asked.

She shrugged. "There's something you've been wanting for a while." She made a move as if she was stretching, and he deftly caught something she threw at him. "And it's about time you got it."

As she walked upstairs, Sasuke looked at what he caught and his mouth watered. Her bra. He ran up the stairs to find her shirt at the very top. He felt a twitch and walked on. Not far after he found her pants and he became semi-erect.

He came to the door of his room and stopped at the sight of Sakura. She was on her hands and knees, stretching an arm to swat at something above his headboard. All she wore was a thong, the vibrator at the end of the bed looking evil and conniving.

She turned and smiled over her shoulder. "Are you sure you can do anything, looking like that. You're awfully…covered."

He smirked and started to undress as she went back to what she was doing. Tracing a picture of Team Kakashi he once had on his bureau. "Sakura, you have no idea how sexy you look right now."

As he walked towards her, oblivious to him, he picked up the vibrator. He started to climb on the bed and noticed Sakura still hadn't taken the thong off. Sasuke quickly plucked it and she moaned. She turned to him and met him mouth to mouth.

It was hot and quick. She groaned and looked back up at the picture as Sasuke started to kiss the column of her neck. "I used to dream about you as a gennin," she admitted, a rose color blooming on her cheeks. "I used to dream about this."

He laughed, throatily, thinking of the adorable young Sakura thinking of sex. "Did you ever touch yourself, thinking about me?" he asked.

"Only once. It didn't feel good. I didn't like masturbating," she replied. "But I used to dream of all the things you'd do to me. They'd be so realistic and so, _so_ good I would cream just _thinking_ about it. It was so erotic, I would wake up soaking wet and panting from fucking you in my dreams."

Damn. Now he was stiff. He smiled and kissed her, making a trail to her ear. "I used to dream about you, too," he told her. "Not when we were gennin, though I had a massive crush on you back then. After I left. When I was with Orochimaru and I first saw you after two and a half years."

She let out a breathy gasp and his hands started to roam to her breasts. She moaned and he kissed from her ear to her jaw, then lower to her clavicle. "God," she breathed. "Please, Sasuke. Please."

He laughed and started a whisper-soft trail lower down her body, lips skimming her skin as he spoke. "I wanted to take you there right then. I didn't Naruto to watch, though. I had to hold myself back. The next week I had hard-on after hard-on, thinking about you and what I should've done with you."

She placed a hand on his chest and felt his muscle contract under her hands. "Oh really?" she asked, moaning. "And what did you want to do?"

Sasuke latched onto a breast and Sakura moaned. She felt his hand massage the other breast and his free hand roam down to her thong and pull it from her. Sasuke smirked when he saw it was drenched and gave her nipple a lick before he moved to the other breast.

Suddenly, she felt something push into her. Before she could gasp, it started to vibrate and she let out a silent moan. "Damn," she breathed. "Sasuke…kun. Don't…stop."

He released her breasts and took a look at her flushed face. He smiled and pushed the vibrator further into her. "I won't. God, you have no idea how erotic you are."

The cherry blossom felt a coiling in the pit of her stomach and knew exactly what it was. It was incredible that she was so sensitive that she could climax from foreplay, though then she remembered all the times her dreams made her come. "Sasuke, I'm…I'm…"

He smiled as he watched her go over the edge, then turned the speed up on the vibrator to high and sent her over the edge again. Once she came down from her second high, he pulled it out of her and positioned himself at her entrance. "This'll hurt, Sakura. Just try--"

"Shut up and fuck me, Sasuke," she moaned, panting.

He nodded and thrust into her, looking at her face. It was thrown backward and she let out a breathy moan, but she didn't seem to feel any pain. From what he understood, girls were supposed to feel pain during their first time.

"Sakura, are you a…" he asked, unable to hold back his own pleasure from the feel of her wrapping around his erection, tight and wet, pulling him in.

He moaned and thrust in, then thrust again. He couldn't stop himself as he thrust in and out hard, fast, and deep. He felt her climax around him and lasted three more thrusts before coming inside her. He felt it tear through him like white hot lava and was barely able to comprehend he sent Sakura over the edge again.

He collapsed on top of her and she rolled them onto their sides, never breaking contact. She panted and sighed, kissing Sasuke and smiling. "That was better than any dream I ever had. The octopus is _not_ innocent."

He laughed, panting in between as he snuggled his head into the valley of her breasts and sighed. "Maybe you had those dreams because you used to sleep with a sex toy, Sak," he replied. When he caught his breath, he had to address the serious topic he wanted to ask her when he first thrust into her. "Sakura, are you a virgin?" he asked.

She laughed. "Not as of twenty minutes ago. Why? What's wrong?" Her breathing became less erratic and she was feeling horny again. She wanted to fuck Sasuke again. Right then. But he was busy asking her if she was a virgin.

"So I was the first one to shove myself up there?" he asked, trying to be nondescript.

"Yes, Sasuke. You were the first person whose cock fucked my cunt. And there has never been another cunt to fuck my cunt either," she replied, glaring. "What's wrong?"

He rolled his eyes at her vulgarity. He did _sound_ like a prick trying to avoid those words. "I thought you were supposed to feel hurt. You didn't look like you were in pain. Sak, if I hurt you…"

She rolled her eyes and kissed Sasuke. "I _wasn't_ in pain, you dork. I probably broke my hymen before. If not, that vibrator had to have broken it. Besides, it only hurts when you're not ready for it."

"Since when were you ready for me to fuck you?" he asked, embarrassed.

"Since the first day I had a wet dream about you and creamed in bed," she replied, kissing him again and straddling him. "So can we do it again?"

He smiled and nodded. "I assume you want top now?"

"Yes," she replied, blushing.

* * *

My first ever lemon, helped by my friend Yuma. We're both virgins, so don't blame us if it's bad. She's been reading erotica for years and can write some pretty raunchy ones when she's in charge. I wouldn't let her, because if my parents see it, they'll kill me. You have no idea how embarrassing it was to write.


	4. Attention Fans

Hello,

This is not the writer you know as Camy-Tay. This is her brother, Jae, and I regret to inform you that she will no longer be able to write stories for you. November 18 of 2009, we received word that Cam had cancer. We caught it during her check-up after having the tapeworm removed, but we had not caught it in time.

April 17, 2010, Cam passed away from leukemia.

It has taken me almost a year to figure out her password to tell everyone what has happened. I am sorry for all of you that expected updates. I don't know why she ever made her password the mascot of the first boarding school she attended, but whatever. I loved her, but she was weird.

That being said, I know nothing about , except that Cam wrote on this website and she would want her followers to know she passed. I think they receive updates on her every entry, but I will try to post this letter at the end of every story she's written.

I will keep her page up and try to have her friends write stories in her memory so that she may live on, but I haven't talked to many of them since her funeral.

I'm sorry and God bless Cam. May she be in good hands.


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